So, I have a three year old backseat driver. I am happy with that. Don’t make too much of my expressions in the backseat driver photos, they are only there for effect. I may look stunned or upset or bewildered or whatever but deep in my heart I know and really try to appreciate how blessed my life is at this time. Besides having a three year old backseat driver makes me understand at my age and with my faults and weaknesses, I need someone else who can help keep me in check.
When I posted the first
backseat driver photo I had no idea others would follow. But then others came
and before long there were more. I also did not quite expect to find much
meaning in any of the photos or the experiences. But when I looked I found several
meaningful lessons. Some were brand new to me while others reaffirmed what I
believed already. Maybe those who read these lessons thought they were basic
and trite. Maybe so. When you strip it all away, I am a pretty simple man. Sometimes
the obvious is hard for me to recognize. Ultimately, somewhere in all this, I
understand I still have more to learn about being a father, and I suspect, in
some ways, I always will.
In a previous backseat
driver entry I likened the whole process of raising a child to a road trip.
Even though I am only a few years into my role as a dad I do believe this is an
apt description of what it is like to be raising children in today’s world. I
believe this from my own limited experience but also from watching family and
friends raise their children. With this analogy in place I could go on several
different tangents with a few final thoughts, but, I won’t. As I wrap up this
talk about taking along a backseat driver down the road of life, I want to
focus on mirrors.
In the previous backseat
driver entry I mentioned several things that make raising a child like taking a
road trip. You determine where you are going, you get out a map, you start, you
may have to detour, on and on. One thing I didn’t mention though was how
important mirrors are for any road trip.
Most every car is equipped
with several mirrors. There could be one on each front door, a rearview mirror
on the windshield and maybe one or two vanity mirrors on the sun visors. Each
mirror serves some purpose. Vanity mirrors allow you to check your appearance.
Do I have broccoli in my teeth? Is my hair straight? Side mirrors allow you to
check what is coming up behind you on either side and in some cases allow you
to gaze backward at something you just passed. It’s the rearview mirror that
grabs my attention though. With it I can see the traffic directly behind us. At
night I can adjust it so that the bright lights behind me don’t blind me to the
road ahead. And with a backseat driver and a little effort on my part I can
either adjust the mirror or adjust myself to look in that mirror to take a look
at that backseat driver.
I think that is an important
thing to do on this road trip to raising a child. Now and then, I need to take
a look at the sweet one I am trying to safely get to a certain destination. I
need to make sure we don’t need to stop to take a break. I need to make sure that
if she has any needs that I can meet them. Sometimes, I just need to know, for
myself, that she is okay.
Of course, that rearview
mirror could have another purpose. And that purpose would be for me as the
driver to take a close look at myself once in awhile. That purpose could be accomplished
through the vanity mirror but most of those require very little effort to open,
and with something so important, a little effort means a bit more in the long
run. Taking a close look with the rear view mirror might mean getting out of
the comfortable position I have found, pulling the mirror around and looking
directly into the mirror with my eyes. A little bit of effort to take that
close look at myself means I may take that glance a bit more seriously than if
I had to make little effort at all. If I position the mirror just right I can
not only look at myself but can also see the precious cargo in the backseat. Of
course, I can’t do any of this for very long because I have to shift my eyes
toward the road ahead. Still, that quick glance into the rear view mirror
should be enough for me to realize the importance of it all-the trip, the
destination, the passenger(s) and the driver(s).
Are we there yet? No, but we’re
on our way.
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