8.22.2019

A Good Tired


By the time I really connected with Saturday, the weekend was partly gone. It had been a short week of work with some time away to visit family sewed to the back side of the week. As the sun began heating up the air filling the open spaces with light I drove away from our house to run some errands.

I love the life I live with my wife and our daughter. It is home and feels that way. It’s not easily described in words but is a feeling that is comfortable and recognizable when I let it surround me. That said, there are other times that feel good.

One of those other times is when I take off for an hour or so on an occasional Saturday morning to run some errands. Sometimes, it is a trip to the post office. Other times, I may need a haircut. I might run by the grocery store or hardware store. I am rarely gone longer than a few hours but sometimes that is enough to be able to step back enough to recharge a bit.

On this Saturday a trip to the grocery store then the hardware store was on the agenda. The hardware store stop had an item added to it at the last minute as before I left I noticed a large fluorescent light that we use in our basement had burned out darkening a corner. Off I went in search of the needed items. As I drove to these destinations, a few of the things I needed to accomplish later in the day came into focus. This is one of the benefits to this short time alone. It allows me to zoom in on things that ultimately make our life easier and better in some cases.

I made my stops then pulled into our driveway with a list of things in my head I knew I should try to finish during the remainder of the day. As I changed that long tube of light in our basement, I could feel the heat from the outdoors. That outside force also seemed to be calling me, maybe warning me, about the day ahead. It seemed to remind me how there will always be work to do and how it could be done some other day than today. It made me consider how the icy breezes blowing all day long from air conditioning vents play a hypnotic tune if I choose to listen. Maybe the warmth of the day and my own struggle with laziness would make me reconsider the things that should get completed.

On this day, I didn’t take the easy way out. I spent several hours in the sweltering summer heat clipping bushes and tree branches. I walked the yard with a weed eater waist-high trimming away the grass from around our house and in other hard-to-reach areas. Before it was all over, I walked much of the yard again with a leaf blower, it’s extended arm aimed at grass clippings, stray sticks and twigs and scattered dirt and leaves.

Not much longer after this, it was all over. The heat of the day had loosened it’s grip some. The sun slid behind the trees at the edge of the woods behind our house. Inside that house the smell of supper on the stove seemed a nice reward for the hours of completed work. I looked over myself to see a few souvenirs of the day, slivers of grass stuck to the legs of my pants, an old pair of silver and red tennis shoes outlined now with rings around the bottoms of both shoes the shade of a watermelon rind, and, yes, even the smell of dirt and gas and grass and sweat mingled together into some unthinkable odor. A good clean-up then a good meal would be a great way to call this day done.

When that moment came, it was a good feeling. I had already concluded that though. While I rode a lawnmower through the yard matching the wheels with the last pass through the yard, I had this realization. At that point the work wasn’t yet completed but a great deal had been done. It was then I felt tired. Down in my bones, I felt stretched. The heat had starched me through and through. I understood how my back might hurt some later in the night or the next day. All those things though couldn’t replace the other feeling that seemed to overshadow being tired. I looked over at the things that had been accomplished during just a few short hours. Those things made me understand my tired was a good tired.
 
A few minutes later, I was presentable enough to sit at our dining room table. My work clothes had landed in the laundry. I had scrubbed away the yard debris and smelled like soap and shampoo. We thanked God for our day then began to eat supper. We talked. We laughed. It was that other feeling I felt then, the feeling of home. I’ll never grow tired of it even when I am bone-tired in a good way.

8.08.2019

30513 Memories: The Old Haunts


In my mind, I can still picture things like they were when I was much younger than now. Sometimes, when I think about those times, I miss the way it all was then, back in that 30513 zip code. After all, it will always be the place I call home in some way. Time, among other things, brings changes. It just can’t stay the same. Still, the memories linger, hanging on, haunting me in some ways.

Some things I miss are still there but just have a different purpose now. Today the downtown is a bustling series of streets overrun by out-of-towners and those who have relocated who weave their way from business to business looking for overpriced knick-knacks, gourmet coffee, custom beer, antiques they think date back to the reconstruction and for a menu that is still Southern but still somehow politically correct enough for their refined tastes. Yet, when I set foot on those same streets, I recall how my Mom shopped at the department stores in the summer to put my school clothes on lay-a-way for the fall. I remember trying on lace-up work boots to wear to school during the cold winters. I think back to times when I would go with my Dad to the hardware store to help him look for a tool or to locate a belt for the lawnmower. There were times I even went to the grand-looking bank on the corner with my parents. While they conducted business inside, they allowed me to cross the street to the drug store so I could look over the magazines on display there.

Some things I miss are still there but it's just that time has moved on from it or from me. The jewelry store where I bought my high school senior ring sits nestled in the downtown like it has for years. I have only been back there once or twice since then. The movie drive-in is still in business although it often seems crowded over with those who have never experienced the thrill of watching a movie on an enormous outdoor screen. Ironically enough, the movie theater that opened while I was a teenager closed years back. At my age it also doesn't seem like the most logical thing to do would be to drive to Tilley Bend church after midnight to walk the cemetery armed only with a flashlight and courage just to see if any ghostly figures appear.

Some of what I miss is just no longer there any longer. This is the human element of all this. Every small town has its own cast of unique characters. I miss the ones I knew, some whose names I recall and some I can only remember by what they looked like back in that day and time. Of course in a small town, you find most of us are related in some way, through blood or marriage. There are those of that number I miss as well. Some of those I miss have moved elsewhere, some have moved on to their reward. Some of them were family. Some were just like family. I miss the neighbors you could trust with your life. I miss the family members who had your back no matter what. I miss the friends who understood what you were thinking even before you could verbalize it.

When things change, they are replaced with new memories. That is fine. That is how it all works. Still, the old haunts hold a place that can still make me happy from time to time when I run across their memory. Now, when I am back there in this place that can only be described as somewhere between Mayberry and Twin Peaks, and I drive through, I see what exists now, but I also see what once was, a ghost of the place I once knew.

30513 Memories: The Old Haunts Playlist

James Taylor "Our Town"
Warren Zevon "Keep Me In Your Heart"
Steve Earle "Someday"
George Harrison "All Those Years Ago"
Smashing Pumpkins "1979"
Deanna Carter "Strawberry Wine"
Mark Wills "19 Somethin'"
Fleetwood Mac "Landslide"
Bruce Hornsby and the Range "Across The River"
Paul Anka "Times of Your Life"
Darryl Worley "I Miss My Friend"
Rosanne Cash and Bobby Bare "No Memories Hangin' 'Round"
Dream Academy "Life In A Northern Town"
Dire Straits "Telegraph Road"
Simon and Garfunkel "Old Friends"
Gram Parsons "Brass Buttons"
Jim Croce "Photographs and Memories"
Five For Fighting "100 Years"
Jack Johnson "Go On"
Alan Jackson "Small Town Southern Man"
Mary Chapin Carpenter "I Am A Town"
The Allman Brothers Band "Revival"
The White Stripes "We Are Going To Be Friends"
Iris Dement "Our Town"