Road Trip: The Ride Of A Lifetime

In January of this year, I posted a blog titled Road Trip. When I did so, I planned to write an article every six weeks or so about various road trips I have experienced through the years. That is still my plan. This post is about one of those road trips. This one is a bit different in scope though.

This blog dates back twelve years and is approaching two hundred fifty separate posts. Although there was a gap of a few years when I did not post anything, I have mostly tried to make posting a consistent thing to do. A new blog post shows up about every two weeks. The blog serves as a way for me to write in an attempt to crystallize my thoughts. It also gives me the opportunity to, in some fashion, capture a moment and try to make it a memory. Some have read things here then suggested I should write a book. I am flattered some think that. With these writings though I mostly want to snapshot pieces of life before they just fade away. I hope to memorialize them in some way so that others can read them, and hopefully identify with the sentiment or think deeper about things shared here.

I said all that to say I have written enough of this blog to know that consistency means more than just making sure something new pops up every few weeks. I can’t just write something the night before then post it the next day. So, the things that appear here often have been written weeks or months in advance. I plot out when certain posts appear because they are timely. Sometimes I write something knowing it isn’t quite as polished as I want it to be, so I let it sit then revisit it later to tweak.

And, so, months ago, I thought how I wanted to write a series of articles about road trips I recall throughout my life. A few of these are already written. As a preview, the next road trip post is scheduled to be about a trip my family took from time to time years ago that involved a clothing store and the ten commandments. Hey, how’s that for a teaser? I plan for it to still appear, so look for it soon. The date for this post though falls around a very special date for me and Jennifer. This particular blog post is slated to release on March 5, 2020. March 6, 2020 just happens to be our wedding anniversary.

Most of the road trip posts will be specific to locations and events on actual road trips. There is another journey taking place though in my life. That is the road Jennifer and I started on together as husband and wife sixteen years ago. There is no one else on earth that I would rather be on life’s road trip with than my wife, Jennifer.

She gives me good reason to enjoy the ride. She puts up with my quirks. She helps keep things in the middle of the road during the ride. She is understanding enough to smile faintly as she hears me tell the same story or joke for the bazillionth time. She has a supply of patience I wish I knew and have given her cause to dip into from time to time. She has wisdom I doubt I will ever realize on my own.

She is my helper. She doesn’t bully our relationship so that she gets her way. She doesn’t think her opinion matters more than mine. And, while she is smarter than me, she still values the things I do bring along for the ride. We work together to get to where we are going. We are not perfect but what we have works.

While much of this blog often centers on the adventures of our daughter, know that Hannah’s mom, my wife, Jennifer, is the reason so many of the things shared here in this blog come to life. She is the unsung hero of our family. She is the quiet force that keeps the three of us moving in the same, and, right direction. I know I sometimes take her and all the things she is for granted. I never mean to do that but sometimes it happens.

I am grateful we are on this trip together. I would not want it any other way. Without her, I am not sure what roads I would have traveled these past sixteen years. I just know those roads would not have been as fun or as meaningful or as memorable as the road we travel on now.

Happy anniversary, Jennifer. Thanks for sharing the ride with me.

Road Trip: The Ride Of A Lifetime playlist

Allison Krauss "When You Say Nothing At All"

Vince Gill "If You Ever Have Forever In Mind"

Guy Clark "Stuff That Works"

Miranda Cosgrove "Leave It All To Me"

American Authors "What We Live For"

Steven Curtis Chapman "I Will Be Here"

Martina McBride "Blessed"

Rascal Flatts "Bless The Broken Road"

Sara Evans with Vince Gill "No Place That Far"

Billy Joe Shaver "Old Five and Dimers Like Me"

Beast Boy "All About Rae"

Don Williams "Fever"

Seven-Oh!

On a recent Saturday, the family who were able to do so gathered at the house our family has called home for decades. Three days after they married, my Mom and Dad bought this house, moved in then have spent their entire married life here. On this day, we celebrated their seventy years together.

We all love the two of them individually. I would say every family member would like to emulate their best parts in some way. Some of us inherited some of those traits but we would be quick to admit those parts aren’t as polished or as useful as the ones they have.

We all love the two of them together. Being together seventy years says something. The sarcastic side of society often mocks marriage itself and with it such milestones. We celebrate it aware of the rough edges, the hurts and disappointments that came along for the ride during those years but grateful the good memories surpass any bad memories that may arise.

The celebration was a very simple time together. A few surprise visits, grilled steaks and a cake were the highlights. It stopped raining for a day. This allowed the March weather to cooperate so that most of the activity took place outdoors. Grandkids ran through the yard in the same way so many of us have done in bygone years. The rest of us squinted through the rays of the sun to see the faces of family soaking in the warmth on this special day.

As the two of them grow older together, we see them aging before our eyes. We see first hand some of the health issues that come from habits and the mere passing of time. We see how some of the routine of everyday life has shifted often making the new routine harder than ever on the two of them.

Still, seventy years of marriage is a landmark few couples will ever reach. It didn’t just happen without effort. It wasn’t always an easy path to travel. To them, it became something to stick with and not walk away from when things got tough. It took a promise between the two of them coupled with a shared determination for it all to last as long as their lives together.

Selfishly, I hope it lasts at least seventy more years.

Mom and Dad, Mammaw and Pappaw, we love you!

 

Where I'd Be

Not long ago, a group of us were talking and the guys were asked where we would be at that moment if it weren’t for our wives. Each response was different but in general we all agreed that place would not be as good a place as where each of us were at that moment.

I have given that question some thought from time to time since then. Sometimes when I do I think about the past and where I’ve been.

I can remember being a teenager wanting to taste the freedom that was so close but never really realizing until later in life how the freedom we inherit comes as a complicated gift. I can remember being with people in places and times I just knew I was meant to be for a much longer time than what transpired and how all those times now seem like a mere matter of moments, long gone. I can remember being a struggler, fighting some battle against myself or against someone and later realizing what a waste much of that effort really was. I can remember being on top of the world or so I thought before understanding life is full of valleys and mountains and how one day I stood at the mountain’s peak and the next day I sat crumpled on the valley floor.

Where I have been, where I might be and where I am are three different places. Two of those three sound very lonely to me now because I would not be where I am now without my wife, Jennifer.

Although I often write about our daughter, Hannah, in this blog, you should understand that the true hero of our lives is her mother, my wife, Jennifer. She and I have our own story, as all couples do. That story is not like Romeo and Juliet or Samson and Delilah and thank God for that since Romeo and Juliet didn’t end well, and well, neither did Samson and Delilah. When it is all boiled down, we’re just a boring couple by the standards set by TV and movies and romantic novels but we are a couple who look forward to growing older together. It’s practical and realistic yet rather romantic in it's own way, even if it's just to the two of us that feel that way.

I still find myself at times baffled at how complicated life can be but I share that now with her. I find myself sometimes bewildered at how quickly time passes and sometimes how the people we know are gone just as quickly but I share all that now with her. At times I still find myself struggling hard against things and she is there to remind me I can pick and choose the struggles that come my way and how I deal with them. And when I am on the valley floor, she’s there with me just as she is with me when I am on the top of the mountain.

Where would I be without her? I’m not sure. I am certain though that the place where we are now is the place I always want to be.

Still Crazy After The First Five Years

Bawdy movie actress Mae West is credited with the quote, “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.” Several years ago before I was married I was asked to write an article for my college alumni newsletter. I chose the topic of being unmarried and in my thirties. I started the whole piece off with West’s quote.

On face value, the quote seems like a sarcastic swipe at marriage. And maybe, the ol’ gal meant it that way. Maybe, though, it can be taken another way. In today’s world logic gets twisted by our government, our media and everyone else, so, please allow me to do the same.

While Mae’s quip is cute and a good attention-grabber, I think there may be some truth to her snide remark. Really, let me explain.

Mae ties marriage and an institution together and implies that getting married leads one into a place where you get better. Straight up, political correctness aside, Mae is saying in order to get married you first have to be crazy. And really you have to be.

You have to be crazy over the one you are marrying.

The logic continues from here. If one is crazy, one needs to be in an institution. When you are placed in such an institution, people often say you are being committed to that institution. And really, commitment in a marriage is a very good thing.

You have to be committed to the one you are marrying and the promises you make with one another.

And of course, once you are in an institution, the hope is you get better.

Of course if you are crazy about your spouse and committed to your spouse, then life truly is better than it was before marriage.

On March 6, Jennifer and I celebrate our first five years together in that institution known as marriage.

Jennifer, I’m still crazy about you, I’m still committed to you and our promises and life is better now than at any other time in my life thanks to you. Thanks for being institutionalized with me!