You Never Know

Chattanooga, TN

July 16, 2015
 
The sun rose and the day began, summer in the South, another Thursday in July. It was just another day to get up, sit at the dining room table to eat breakfast with Hannah then help get her ready for daycare. It was just another day to spend a few minutes together as a family before saying goodbye to my wife as we went separate ways to begin our days. It was just another ride to the school where I have worked for parts of three decades and where Hannah goes to daycare.

On this day’s ride, Hannah told me joke after joke. She started with her favorite, “Daddy, why don’t the bear wear socks?”

“I don’t know, Hannah. Why don’t the bear wear socks?”

“Because he’s got bare feet.”

Then she told other jokes, one about a grape, one about a sign, one about a cow and others that have since blended into memory. I laughed as heartily as I could at each punchline. These moments are such a good part of life.

At daycare, I left her in the arms of one of her teachers then walked out the door before making my way to my office. Some days Hannah is clingy but not so much today. As I usually do when I got to the door to leave I looked back at Hannah one last time.

In my office, it was just another day at work. There was a meeting, then there was time answering email and phone calls and working on solutions to problems while trying hard not to think about how close it suddenly was to the weekend.

Then it all changed. Two separate military sites, one a recruiting center, the other a reserve center were attacked by a gunman. Four military members were killed, one police officer and two other military personnel were wounded. The reserve center sat less than a mile away from the school. We were told a shooting had taken place and the shooter was on the loose.

Chattanooga is an amazing place to live. One of the neatest things about living here is how beautiful it is here. We have distinct seasons. The fall colors are vivid, the spring colors pop with energy and renewal. It’s hot in the summer. It may or may not get cold in the winter. We have the Tennessee Aquarium, the Children's Discovery Museum, Rock City, Ruby Falls and all sorts of other things you can do. We are surrounded by mountains, set in the distance the outlines of Signal and Lookout Mountains cut stark patterns against the sky. Then, there, right through the middle of all this flows the Tennessee River.

That river runs behind the reserve center where some of the shooting occurred. It also runs behind the school where I work and where our daughter seems likely to be cracking jokes with her friends during the day. For years, the city has worked creating a walkway alongside the river which stretches from where the river butts up against a dam all the way into the downtown part of Chattanooga. It is miles long and is a place where families and friends congregate to celebrate life events or ride bikes or jog or walk or just stand and gaze at the river and the mountains in the distance. This walkway is one of the things that makes Chattanooga unique and special. On this day, it became something to fear.

That same walkway can easily be walked from the reserve center to the school in a matter of minutes. Our school went on lockdown. Our staff briefly discussed what we would do in case we had to be further locked down in our actual office space. Sobering thoughts for an ordinary Thursday. Then, somehow, we tried to go about our day.

Things like this make you appreciate what you have. When we were on lockdown I was two buildings away from Hannah. We weren’t allowed to leave the buildings we were in, so I was close to her but so far away. I kept busy trying to not think about what could happen. When I was successful doing that I couldn't help but think about our time together as a family earlier in the morning. I thought about how Jennifer and I double-teamed getting Hannah ready for school. I thought about the ride to school in the morning. I thought about leaving Hannah at daycare then turning and walking away.

And then I thought how you never know, how you just never know.

I do know God watched over us on this day. For that, I am humbled and grateful.

Please say a prayer for this community as this has shaken folks here. I am from a small town so I never really imagined I would ever live in a place with more than a couple of red lights. I have come to understand though that I could not pick a better place to live for what I do and for who I am. It is a great place to live. I am grateful my wife is from here and that we are raising our daughter here. Still, it is sad to see something like this happen here. I know the people here are strong but a prayer will help see us all through. Say a prayer for local law enforcement and local military. Say a prayer for those who answer calls then rush to a place not knowing what they may find or may encounter. Say a prayer for law enforcement and our military in general as they are tasked to protect all of us even those who do not seem to respect or appreciate the freedom we enjoy in this country, or sad to say, might even rejoice in such tragedy. Are there bad law enforcement officers and military? Sure, say a prayer for them, too. Pray for our leaders at every level of government. Pray they won't turn another tragedy into an opportunity to advance a political agenda. Pray they will take seriously the safety of our communities and our country and not allow them to slip into chaos some of them seem to encourage.

Now this day is gone. I am blessed to look in on our daughter to watch her sleep, snuggled in her comforter, blissfully unaware of how quickly and dramatically life can change sometimes. I am blessed to sit and talk with my wife about all the things this day has brought into focus knowing going forward is possible as long as we are together. It started as just another day. God willing tomorrow will be another day.

Chattanooga, TN

July 17, 2015
 
The sun rose and the day began, summer in the South, another Friday in July. It was just another day to get up, sit at the dining room table to eat breakfast with Hannah then help get her ready for daycare. We hugged her a bit tighter today though. It was just another day to spend a few minutes together as a family before saying goodbye to my wife as we went separate ways to begin our days. Our eyes lingered a bit longer before we parted today though. It was just another ride to the school where I have worked for parts of three decades and where Hannah goes to daycare. I tried to take in every word Hannah spoke today.

Hannah told the bare feet joke again then she told more jokes this morning. She sang a silly song but told me not to laugh at it. I left her at daycare. I am not sure which one of us was more clingy today. As I left, I looked back, I couldn't see her but I could hear her voice. I walked out the door and went to my office.

As I touched the doorknob to enter my office, I struggled to find the strength to open it as the thoughts of the previous day's events began to surround me. I took a deep breath and told myself, it's just another day.

And so it is. You never know though. You just never know now.

Saturdays, Then and Now

Nothing can feel so freeing to so many than to realize Saturday is coming especially after a long work week. For most of us, Saturday is a day when we can let go of the day-to-day pressures of work and focus on things we want to do, at least for a short time. I pondered this recently, ironically on a Saturday morning, when I found Hannah and me watching a TV show called Gravity Falls. On the show Uncle Stan, watching his nephew, Dipper, and his niece, Mabel, shoot off fireworks and toss water balloons, said, “This is what Saturdays are for-doing dumb things forever.” I chuckled at that comment before I started thinking how I have spent Saturdays during my lifetime and then I began comparing them with how I spend them now. Here are my unscientific findings:

Saturday, then: Sleep late. I mean, really late.

Saturday, now: Wake up early due to either:

a) a three-year-old who needs to potty

b) my own weak bladder

c) the neighborhood dog which barks all the time

d) my own forgetfulness as I accidentally set my alarm to go off at the regular time

e) all of the aforementioned or some combination thereof.

Saturday, then: Wake up in time to order take-out from either my favorite barbecue or Chinese restaurant.

Saturday, now: Wake up in time to beat the traffic into town to get a haircut then go to the bank to transfer funds from one account to another then go to the post office to mail a package, all the while passing the barbecue restaurant twice and the Chinese restaurant four times in the process and never stopping once at either one of them.

Saturday, then: Watch Bugs Bunny and Scooby-Doo by myself, quoting dialogue I have heard a million times out loud.

Saturday now: Watch Peppa Pig and Jake and the Neverland Pirates with Hannah, quoting dialogue I have heard a million times in my head.

Saturday, then: Accidentally pull off a drawer handle, when duct tape won’t fix the handle, move everything out of the drawer into another drawer and determine not to use the handle-less drawer ever again.

Saturday, now: Visit the local hardware store to locate a thing-a-ma-jig that fits into the whats-it-called on the guess-which-appliance-may-be-going-on-the-fritz next.

Saturday, then: Get annoyed at all the noise the neighborhood lawnmowers and weed-eaters running outside make.

Saturday, now: Get gas and oil for the lawnmower and leaf blower, pick up sticks out of the yard, pull weeds from the flowerbeds, mow the yard, blow the grass clippings off the porch, walkway and driveway all the while wondering why the neighbors have yards which look like lush wonderlands and ours looks like a small desert compared to them.

Saturday, then: Sprawl all over the couch, falling in and out of sleep all afternoon.

Saturday, now: Yawn and think about when I used to take a nap on Saturdays.

Saturday, then: Get hungry and dig through the refrigerator looking for leftovers wondering if I could make a sandwich out of leftover pizza, grilled chicken, Mexican cheese and ranch dressing.

Saturday, now: Get hungry and dig through the refrigerator looking for leftovers wondering if I could make a sandwich out of leftover pizza, grilled chicken, Mexican cheese and ranch dressing. Okay, some things haven’t changed.

Saturday, then: Reminisce about running and jumping and playing on swing sets and with rocks, bugs, flowers and trees while blowing bubbles, riding bikes and playing ball. 
Saturday, now: Run and jump and play with a three-year-old, rediscovering a world of swing sets, rocks, bugs, flowers, trees, blowing bubbles, riding bikes and playing ball.

Saturday, then: Wish I had cable TV so I could have more options to be entertained. 

Saturday, now: Wonder why we have cable TV when I see all these things that we are told are entertaining.

Saturday, then: Sit in an easy chair rarely wondering how Saturdays could be any different, and if it were different, could it be any better. 

Saturday, now: Sit in an easy chair watching and listening to Jennifer read a book to Hannah just before bedtime wondering how Saturdays could ever get better than this.

“This is what Saturdays are for-doing dumb things forever.” Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes, they’re about more than that though.