What are you doing right now? For many of us we look at that question everyday when we log into the latest online rage, Facebook.
That question, what are you doing right now, is so simple. I mean why would anyone care what I am doing right now? Who really cares what I am doing right now? Most of the time what I am doing isn’t that exciting…on the phone at work, trying to fix a cabinet drawer, eating an apple. To me, that question, what are you doing right now, seems a bit like the TV show, Seinfeld. Seinfeld was known as the show about nothing and so much of the time what I am doing at that very moment is, well nothing that exciting or exhilarating or worth sharing.
So, if I feel that way, why do I keep going back to Facebook?
I think I go back because it is messy. It is funny, it is sad, it is thought- provoking, it is a great big melting pot. It is a connecting, re-connecting communication tool. It is a layered, textured social experiment about who we are, who we were and who we want to be. It exposes me to people who think the way I do, so it reaffirms my way of thinking, yet it also exposes me to those that I sometimes disagree with so it often gives me pause to think. It is a Scheherazade thing. I go back because somebody might make me laugh or think or remember and at some level I crave one of those things.
It’s all these things because it’s more than just what you are doing right now. Because photos, stories and videos are shared, Facebook is also like visiting your family or your friends and having to endure the home movies or endless photo albums. The great thing though is you can look at such things if you choose to (and you will eventually) and on your own time. It isn’t like you are trapped on an uncomfortable sofa while your host changes the tray on the slide projector. So, even though you’ve haven’t seen an old friend in fifteen years and wouldn’t recognize their children, you will see enough photos, videos and comments about them in a matter of minutes to understand a little of what you’ve missed.
And then there are your friends. I am friends with some folks I know really well and others I know fairly well and some I barely know at all. I am friends with people I work beside and people I once worked beside. I am friends with relatives and in-laws. I am friends with college friends I haven’t seen in twenty years and I am friends with folks I only met a couple of years ago. It is a place where I am friends with some I wish I knew better and a place where I am proud to have others as my friend. It is a place where your family, close friends, good friends, friends, acquaintances and sometimes a stranger or two gather, to hang out with you. So, it is messy. It’s a high school/college/family/old work place reunion all rolled into one. It is the place where all your worlds may truly collide.
I mean where would all these people gather to hang out? Honestly, probably, hopefully, my memorial service. Frankly, some of those folks I count as Facebook friends wouldn’t, shouldn’t or couldn’t come then. So, I’ll pass waiting on that moment when all the worlds I know will collide and just log in to Facebook with the knowledge that when that moment does arrive, I might be nearby, but it won’t matter too much what I will be doing right then.
1.29.2009
1.15.2009
Intoxicating or Remember...A Pat On The Back Is Only A Few Inches Away From A Kick In The Butt
I was sitting in an awards assembly at my place of employment with several hundred of my colleagues. Of the three nominees for an award, my name had been called as the award recipient. Applause began and I rose to my feet.
Appreciation. Confirmation. Respect. Validation. Acceptance.
For a brief instant, I tried to suck in all the air in the room to enjoy what was happening. I mean for me something like this doesn’t happen very often. I then turned to the crowd behind me, grinned and with my hands begged the crowd for just a little more applause. Folks laughed and a few even rose to their feet. I dropped my head, smiled and made my way to the stage to accept the award, a check, and nice words from my higher-ups. After the brief ceremony, many crowded near me and wished me well with hugs, handshakes and kind words about me and my job performance I feel are undeserving.
It was a special moment. For a couple of minutes on a cool January Wednesday, I was recognized for achievement in my field of work by my peers. That is gratifying.
Reflecting, I can’t help but begin to see why people seek the warm rays of a spotlight. It’s intoxicating to feel that applause. I understand how this might be a bit addictive. You embrace the adulation, let it wash over you and crave it after you realize it is no longer there.
It’s the rock star who keeps touring long after the music world has veered down a different road. It’s the faded TV star from another decade trying to reignite his career with a stint on a reality show. It’s the disgraced former politician weaseling his way onto a special correspondent’s gig on a cable news network show. It’s the hottest movie star wearing the latest fashions from the latest Paris fashion show walking the red carpet at a movie premiere. Somehow in my brief award accepting moment, I now can relate to those whose time is defined by that fleeting moment in the glare and heat of the spotlight.
Approval. Corroboration. Recognition. Verification. Affirmation.
Fast forward one day.
The congratulatory wishes from the previous day's awards ceremony continue. Again, the feeling is so seductive I wonder how long this can be prolonged. As the work day stretches into overtime, my cell phone rings. It is my wife. She has car trouble. After wrapping things up and leaving work, we spend the next four hours waiting for our car to get fixed. When the repair bill is handed over and announced, I realize that monetary gift from the day before has just been spoken for.
It was that moment when the intoxicating feeling from the previous day's events wore off. The glare of the spotlight faded into a disappearing glow. The warmth of that spotlight turned into a split-second shiver. And there I stood in a very sober place.
Actuality. Certainty. Reality. Veracity. Authenticity.
I live in that sober place. I know the confines of that place. I know that place’s nooks and crannies.
I love that place. It is where I belong.
And so, with no applause and with no spotlight, the bill gets paid and all I can do is smile, shake my head and thank God I have a wife whose love and faith keep me grounded in the place where I belong, right by her side.
Appreciation. Confirmation. Respect. Validation. Acceptance.
For a brief instant, I tried to suck in all the air in the room to enjoy what was happening. I mean for me something like this doesn’t happen very often. I then turned to the crowd behind me, grinned and with my hands begged the crowd for just a little more applause. Folks laughed and a few even rose to their feet. I dropped my head, smiled and made my way to the stage to accept the award, a check, and nice words from my higher-ups. After the brief ceremony, many crowded near me and wished me well with hugs, handshakes and kind words about me and my job performance I feel are undeserving.
It was a special moment. For a couple of minutes on a cool January Wednesday, I was recognized for achievement in my field of work by my peers. That is gratifying.
Reflecting, I can’t help but begin to see why people seek the warm rays of a spotlight. It’s intoxicating to feel that applause. I understand how this might be a bit addictive. You embrace the adulation, let it wash over you and crave it after you realize it is no longer there.
It’s the rock star who keeps touring long after the music world has veered down a different road. It’s the faded TV star from another decade trying to reignite his career with a stint on a reality show. It’s the disgraced former politician weaseling his way onto a special correspondent’s gig on a cable news network show. It’s the hottest movie star wearing the latest fashions from the latest Paris fashion show walking the red carpet at a movie premiere. Somehow in my brief award accepting moment, I now can relate to those whose time is defined by that fleeting moment in the glare and heat of the spotlight.
Approval. Corroboration. Recognition. Verification. Affirmation.
Fast forward one day.
The congratulatory wishes from the previous day's awards ceremony continue. Again, the feeling is so seductive I wonder how long this can be prolonged. As the work day stretches into overtime, my cell phone rings. It is my wife. She has car trouble. After wrapping things up and leaving work, we spend the next four hours waiting for our car to get fixed. When the repair bill is handed over and announced, I realize that monetary gift from the day before has just been spoken for.
It was that moment when the intoxicating feeling from the previous day's events wore off. The glare of the spotlight faded into a disappearing glow. The warmth of that spotlight turned into a split-second shiver. And there I stood in a very sober place.
Actuality. Certainty. Reality. Veracity. Authenticity.
I live in that sober place. I know the confines of that place. I know that place’s nooks and crannies.
I love that place. It is where I belong.
And so, with no applause and with no spotlight, the bill gets paid and all I can do is smile, shake my head and thank God I have a wife whose love and faith keep me grounded in the place where I belong, right by her side.
1.01.2009
The Ladder
The ornaments on the Christmas tree have been put away for another year. The other holiday trinkets are also stored away. Jennifer was a whirlwind in getting these things down and packed away. That left my job, taking down the lights and garland off the front of the house. I mean we can't let the flashing icicle lights hang past New Year's Day without the neighbors rolling their eyes at us more than they do now. So, what it means to me is I have to utilize the ladder.
I'm not the most agile person in the world. I'm also not as small as I once was. The ladder then is always an adventure.
When I climb on to the ladder, I can't help but think about a number of things. Will this thing hold me? When I get up there will I get so carried away with my task that I forget where I am and lose my balance? Can I keep my natural clumsiness in check long enough to make sure each step I take is sure and safe? And then stories I've heard about folks who fell off a ladder or fell off their house and suffered horrible injuries spill out into my mind. So, utilizing the ladder sometimes can be a task that I have to talk myself into undertaking.
Today, the ladder excursion was rather painless. The ladder sunk a bit into the soft ground but held me while I unclipped the lights from the gutter. The lights came down without much hassle so there was little time to get carried away in other thoughts. My steps were sure and safe enough to get the job done. Before I knew it, I had hopped off the ladder and found myself putting the ladder away for another day.
Still, as 2009 begins, I couldn't help but think of the ladder as a metaphor for the new year. As the new year starts, I have to get on that ladder, in my relationships, in my job, in so many other things. As I get on that ladder, will the year be able to hold me? Will I get caught up in other things and lose my balance? Will I make sure my steps are safe and sure?
The answers to those questions won't be answered of course until I get the ladder out again, balance it out on the ground, breathe a long, deep breath and take one step at a time.
Happy New Year.
I'm not the most agile person in the world. I'm also not as small as I once was. The ladder then is always an adventure.
When I climb on to the ladder, I can't help but think about a number of things. Will this thing hold me? When I get up there will I get so carried away with my task that I forget where I am and lose my balance? Can I keep my natural clumsiness in check long enough to make sure each step I take is sure and safe? And then stories I've heard about folks who fell off a ladder or fell off their house and suffered horrible injuries spill out into my mind. So, utilizing the ladder sometimes can be a task that I have to talk myself into undertaking.
Today, the ladder excursion was rather painless. The ladder sunk a bit into the soft ground but held me while I unclipped the lights from the gutter. The lights came down without much hassle so there was little time to get carried away in other thoughts. My steps were sure and safe enough to get the job done. Before I knew it, I had hopped off the ladder and found myself putting the ladder away for another day.
Still, as 2009 begins, I couldn't help but think of the ladder as a metaphor for the new year. As the new year starts, I have to get on that ladder, in my relationships, in my job, in so many other things. As I get on that ladder, will the year be able to hold me? Will I get caught up in other things and lose my balance? Will I make sure my steps are safe and sure?
The answers to those questions won't be answered of course until I get the ladder out again, balance it out on the ground, breathe a long, deep breath and take one step at a time.
Happy New Year.
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