Where It Started

I thank God for my mother. If I ever understand unconditional love, it started with her. If I ever practice patience without judgement, it started with her. If I ever embrace not giving up when giving up seems to be the thing to do, it started with her.

Not everyone can say their parental experience was good. Some carry that around as a weight on their life that will always be as close as their next breath. I understand days where parents are honored can be difficult for some. Still, I believe we should honor those who worked hard to get it right.

My mom was one of nine brothers and sisters. She met my dad and their life started together when they were both young. She gave birth to four children. One child was stillborn, a loss she never put too far away from her heart. She worked outside the home for a time but much of her time she worked at home. She babysat children, she sold Avon. She nursed skinned knees. Once she took a hoe to a snake slithering through our front yard. Nurturer, entrepreneur, nurse, defender. That’s my Momma.

I am sure there were times she wondered what would become of me. Worrying is a built-in component with my Mom. Still, she served as my greatest encourager, even during times she probably had doubts or misgivings about the road I was on at that time.

Maybe there were times when I felt like giving up but she felt like saying something along the lines of this Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats song to me:

“You ain't gone far enough to say

At least I tried

You ain't worked hard enough to say

Well I've done mine

You ain't run far enough to say

My legs have failed

You ain't gone far enough

You ain't worked hard enough

You ain't run far enough to say

It ain't gonna get any better”

As a parent, I take much of how I parent from how I was parented. Being a parent is not an easy task. You find some things easy and other needed things can be so hard. Still, we have to push forward, hopefully with the understanding and appreciation for the tireless, often thankless, effort, concern and hope provided by our own parents. The jury is still out on how Hannah will turn out in life. She still has a lot of growing to do. I hope I have learned enough to provide her with the tools she needs to be loving, patient and persistent. Her own mom does a great job of practicing these qualities to her. If I am able to do the same, I hope one day Hannah understands any such qualities I passed to her started with her grandmother.

Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats “Hey Mama” on YouTube