A Four-Year-Old Questions Direction

It is difficult sometimes to carry on a conversation with a four-year-old. I don’t mean to say we talk on parallel planes. I do try to talk about things in a way I know she can understand for her age. It becomes a strain sometimes because she tends to want to tilt the conversation in her direction and in the process she ends up owning every word, voice inflection and most all the body language involved. Still, sometimes, she takes a breath long enough so that her Mom or I can get an edgewise word in between her ongoing banter.

The most maddening conversations with Hannah for me take place in our car. This is because my attention is divided. I am trying to pay attention to the traffic, the road conditions and the ever-present, sometimes, dangerous weather. I really do want to engage with her but because of everything else I have to be aware of at that very moment, I just can’t participate the way I want. Because I am trying to get us somewhere safely, I cannot always tune in to Hannah’s ongoing dialogue enough to hold up my side of things.

One recent morning we took a detour from our usual route. I needed to drop a few items off in the big blue mailbox at the post office. This meant our routine was broken from the regular way we get to our destination. We pulled up to the mailbox so I could drop off some important pieces of mail then we drove off. Prior to our arrival at the post office, I noted to myself how Hannah hadn’t noticed the different way we were traveling. Within a minute of our leaving the post office parking lot, she verbalized this question, “Why are we going this way?”

So, as we continue to explore the questions a four-year-old asks, we can add this one to our list: “Why are we going this way?”

On the morning this question was posed, we had, of course, a reason to be traveling in a different way than we usually travel. Some things needed to go into the mail that day. This meant a five minute detour was necessary. I tried explaining this to Hannah the best I could. I’m not sure she fully understood the nuances of why we had to travel a different way this particular morning.

So, Hannah, maybe sometime in the future you will read this with that question in mind. Why are we going this way, or, maybe even more personal, why am I going this way? Of course, by then, such a question could have a much broader and deeper meaning. Whether you ask that question while you are driving in your car or just pondering where you are in life at a particular moment, the answers gained from both provide great lessons.

Sometimes it is just necessary to be going the way you are going. You will have a job so you find the easiest way to get there that you can. You have goals and dreams you want to attain so the path that leads to their fulfillment is along a route you choose. From time to time though you will find a short detour may be necessary. In your car, maybe a traffic accident has the road blocked causing you to find a way around the tie-up. The same thing happens to your dreams. Something gets in the way blocking the path. When that happens you don’t just walk away, you find an alternate route. It was the same thing on the morning some things needed to go in to the big blue mailbox at the post office. We took a different road to go by the post office but then we resumed going to where we needed to go. We got there just via a different route.

Sometimes though you may seem to be stuck in the same pattern unable to get things moving along the way you wish they would. Maybe, then, you should ask that question, “Why am I going this way?” Maybe you will discover a detour or a more scenic drive or more practical way to get where you are going. Maybe that change of scenery will provide you with a new perspective. Maybe it will recharge your batteries. Maybe it will allow you to appreciate the different ways you can take to get to the same place. You will find that sometimes, it is just good to break the same old routine, even for just one day.

Sometimes you may ask yourself “Why am I going this way?” when you discover you are wary of the road you are on. Don’t ever ignore this. Pay attention to when your heart tells you to be cautious. Trust your instincts. Yes, it is cliché to say ‘better to be safe than sorry’, but, old sayings became old sayings often because of the truth they reveal. Sometimes, the road you travel on can be full of potholes or low shoulders or damaged guard rails. Sometimes a road can lead you into a place where you won’t want or need to be. When you find that quiet voice in your head warning you of such, listen to it. Remember, you can always turn from the direction you are in and go back if you need to do so. There’s no disgrace in turning around, especially when your gut tells you to do so.

It’s okay to ask why you are going the way you are going from time to time. Know though there are maps that can serve you well when you need to refresh yourself on the route or when you even lose your way. Asking for directions is also acceptable sometimes. You have no idea how difficult that was for me, a male and your dad, to write. Still, think of your life as a journey. You are on the road to living out your dreams and hopes, searching for a destination you are certain will make you happy and fulfilled. Understand that sometimes that ride is long and weary. It can be easy to lose your focus. When that happens, remember to ask yourself “Why am I going this way?” from time to time. Doing so will help keep you headed in the right direction every time.