"A Lot of the Older People Are Dying"

I was on the phone with my Mom recently. We were talking about an older man we both know who is having some health issues. After a short pause, my Mom said, “A lot of the older people are dying.”

That statement hung in the distance between us for a few seconds before we moved on to some other topic. Of course my Mom likely had on her mind several older people who had recently passed away when she said what she said. It is a curious way to say something though. After reflecting some on it, I wish I had added, “And that’s a shame.”

Later, my wife and I were talking and I mentioned this phrase my mother had turned. My wife then mentioned her late grandmother, a woman who lived into her eighties, who with her husband raised a slew of children and who was talented and creative in quiet yet practical ways and who stared down a lot of hard trials in her life yet knew how to enjoy and celebrate what she did know and have. My wife remembered how, as her grandmother advanced in age, she was more than willing to be available to those younger so she could share what she knew about life’s questions to those willing to listen. My wife related how sometimes her grandmother was a bit disappointed how few, outside of the family, really took advantage of that opportunity.

And that is curious, isn’t it? Opportunity lends itself but we rarely decide to take advantage. I look around and see my generation raising children, balancing work and home and a few other things and we have questions and questions. We walk the floor wondering if we are making the right choices and debating the consequences of what we may do and what might happen. Yet when it comes down to crunch time, we mostly turn to ourselves or others in our own generation for the answers. Maybe we aren’t really looking for answers as much as we are looking for others in the same boat as we are so we can have someone who will commiserate in our complaining and confusion.

Meantime, I can’t help but think there are a number of people out there like my wife’s late grandmother. Surely there’s someone out there who could provide some insight into some of life’s big issues so many of us face. I imagine there really is someone with the wisdom to understand how they can be beneficial to those willing to ask them questions about life while understanding that if they ranted and raved about such issues that would only turn off those who needed the answers.

A lot of the older people are dying and that is a shame, especially to those of us who need wisdom gained from experience and don’t have enough common sense to recognize where it really resides.