Careful to Listen, Careful To Choose

We all like to know the end to a story. Fiction is easy. We can invest time into reading a book and learning how that story ends. Life is more complicated because it has to be lived out over time, and all of us won’t know the end to every story in which we take the time to make an investment. As a parent, I grapple with not knowing the end to my child’s story. In all likelihood, my story will end before her story will and my passing will most likely become some part of her story. Even now, I know I may not ever tell her all the things I feel I need to tell her. There are so many things to say, so many things to pass along. Still, like most of us, I get tricked into thinking time is a deep, endless reservoir when it is really just a small shallow pond feeding other streams which empty into a larger body of water. Maybe in the time we have together I will teach her how to parallel park or how to bait a fishing hook or any other number of things I want to pass along to her. Hopefully, in some of these small things she will be able to extract larger lessons. But in case I don’t communicate these larger things well, or at all, here are a handful of words I think my daughter should know.

People are human. They will inspire you and thrill you. At times though, they will also hurt and disappoint you. Fair and fairness are big words and concepts to hang happiness on, so know that life isn’t always fair. Because it isn’t fair, life can be tough sometimes. Know life isn’t made to be a party every day. Yes, there will be days when it seems there is no end to the fun but ultimately, you have to roll up your sleeves and get to the day-to-day of living life, working, making choices, filtering all the information that comes your way. That may sound dull but know that work and making tough decisions can also be good things. Some may tell you otherwise but challenging yourself can bring out strength and determination you never realized you had until you were faced with difficulty. Hard work can provide you with a more rounded picture of who you truly are. It can lend additional purpose and fulfillment to your life that can be hard to find in other things. In your life, please be careful who you listen to, even when you are grown and on your own. Know that your Mom and I made our mistakes but that we love you and always wanted the best for you even when the three of us did not see eye to eye or when we had to make a difficult decision about what to do. Please understand not every voice you will hear will want the best for you even when they coat what they say to you with sugar to make it seem sweeter than it really is, sometimes they just want what is best for themselves. So, when it comes time to listen to the various voices out in the world, out in your life, be careful to listen. Don't just accept what you hear. Weigh what those voices say with what you know. Hopefully, you will hear our voices somewhere in the mix, and hopefully our voices will become one with your own voice.

They told you life is hard

It's misery from the start

It's dull, it’s slow, it’s painful

But I tell you life is sweet

In spite of the misery

There's so much more
Be grateful

Well, who do you believe?

Who will you listen to?

Who will it be?

It's high time that you decide

In your own mind

While life can be tough and unfair, you should know at the most basic level, life really is good. It may seem as if time drags on but time really never stops and seemingly only ticks away faster with each day. You will understand this as you grow older and see things change. You will experience loss when people you love pass from this life leaving you wishing for just one more day with them. That will happen. Take time to honor them, take time to grieve, don't be afraid to hurt or cry for the loss you will feel. Cherish each day you have because the movement of time is more rapid than we really grasp. Cherish the people you have in your life because some will move on and you will never see them again. You likely won’t understand how special and important some will be to you until they are out of your life so look for the good in the people you know and hold to that good tightly. Be grateful for the good you gain from these people, God placed them in your life for some reason, maybe to benefit you or maybe for you to benefit themselves or others. When others hurt you, and they will, find a way to forgive them even if that is a difficult thing to do. You will seek forgiveness from someone some day and understanding how forgiveness really feels works best when you have learned to forgive others. Being unforgiving leads to bitterness and bitterness is an emotion no one wears well. Know there will always be some voices intent on telling you how bad things can be. These voices may even be relentless as if they were an evangelist for gloom and doom. When you hear their voices, remember, you have a choice in how your life is from moment-to-moment and day-to-day. Life really is good when you choose to let it be good. The choice is yours, be careful when you choose.

Oh, they told you life is long

Be thankful when it's done

Don't ask for more

You should be grateful

But I tell you life is short

Be thankful because before you know

It will be over

Cause life is sweet

And life is also very short

Your life is sweet

Be careful to listen. Be careful with your choices. Your life is so precious and so sweet.

Proverbs 2:7-11

Inspired by "Life Is Sweet" written by Natalie Merchant, 1997

Watch "Life Is Sweet" on YouTube.