Christmas Present

Standing still, a warm glow sunk in all around me. The dreamy world I felt wrapped in was disrupted by a soft voice urging me to come to life out of my slumber.

I spoke, “Just five more minutes. I’ll still be able to make it to work on time.”

The voice replied, “No work today for you. You though do need to get a bit more alive than what you are now.”

A cool breeze hit me in the face as if someone had just raced through the house, charged through the front door and left it open. I sighed and said, “I suppose you are the spirit of Christmas present or some other title which has been bestowed on you by someone somewhere. I must admit this whole looking back and looking forward thing hasn’t really been the most enjoyable experience. Can I not just go back to sleep?”

The voice paused a few seconds before responding, “Well, I suppose you could go on sleeping. Is that really what you want?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Is it really what you need?”

“Yes, sleep is what I need. That, and maybe a warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie.”

The voice questioned me, “Do you not even want to process this whole adventure, you know, the past and the future? Do you not even want to maybe take a look at Christmas present?”

“Well, Christmas past was nice. Christmas future was a bit weird. And, honestly, I have seen the checking account this month so I have a bit of a grip on Christmas present. I imagine though you won’t go away easily. You just won’t give up, will you?”

“I like to think persistence and patience are good things to have. Don't make me get them out”

“All right. What do I need to do?” I asked.

“Look around.”

“What?”

“Just look around. What do you see? Take it in. Slowly, take it in.”

I looked through the bleariness in my eyes and responded, “I see a Christmas tree, Christmas lights. I see lots and lots of food. I see Christmas cards. I see gifts under the tree. Stockings hung by the fire.”

The voice interrupted me, “No. Slow down. What do you really see?”

I paused and looked more intently than before, “I see my wife, my family, my friends.”

“Yes. You take away any meaning from that revelation?”

“These are the things, actually, the people, that really matter.”

“Good. One last piece of advice, don’t ever stop looking.”

“But what about the past and the future? What am I to make of them?”

“It isn’t that hard to understand. I imagine you can come up with something that will make sense to yourself.”

“Okay. I suppose there’s nothing I can do about the future. There will be time later to be concerned with that. The past is around but all I can do is recall it from time-to-time and try not to live there from day-to-day. And if I thought about it even more I might realize I idealize the past a bit more than I should and I may even fear the future with a bit more than I should.

“Okay, that's good enough for a made for TV movie. It works for me. Nothing too earth-shattering but I guess it will do.”

“So, are we through here?”

“Yeah, that probably wraps it up. It is getting close to Christmas and well, I have miles to go before I sleep.”

“So, is there some deep valuable lesson I need to know before you go? Is there some deep underlying grand theme to all this that I need to be aware of?”

“Who do you think I am? Oprah? Look, I’m not sure you’re capable of much more than what you can consider at this very moment. And I’m even more certain that is really all that you need to think about right now anyway. So, lighten up, wake up, enjoy, just look around. It doesn't take much to see others who do not have it as well as you do. Look around.”

The voice faded. It was replaced by the sound of a remote control falling out of my hand and hitting the floor. My eyes popped open and I began to awaken. I rose to my feet and heard people down the hall enjoying themselves. The voices were familiar and the laughter was warm and spontaneous. I peaked around the corner to see a roomful of family and friends. I then stepped back out of sight just so I could soak in the feeling. As I did, I caught my likeness in a mirror. As I looked at my reflection I asked myself, “Is this really me?”

Before I could answer my own question the noises from the next room intensified and came into a sharp focus…kids fighting over just-unwrapped toys, family members arguing over politics, a football game playing on the television set, the same bad jokes being told again by the same people who have told them year after year, the clink of forks on plates as dessert after dessert just had to be sampled, the roar at the dining room table as a handful of folks play some challenging card game.

I take a deep breath and step into the room. I look around the room as my ears fill with the sweet sounds in the room and I think to myself, “Yep, this is really me. Thank God, it’s really me.”