I'll Have Another Brownie Please

You know when you’re a kid and you eat a piece of candy and it’s so good, you go back and eat another piece of candy and then you eat another piece and then another piece and then you end up sick from all the candy? Well, that’s about where I am right now with all the holiday events. They’re good but sometimes there’s just so many of them that enjoying them becomes hard to do after awhile.

In a seven weekend span beginning in mid-November, Jennifer and I will have had five weekends with some kind of family or holiday event. One of those “free” weekends has yet to come around so we may end up booking it with something before it arrives. Some of these weekends have involved travel away from home. Some of them involve people coming to our house. This doesn’t even include other events through the week for church, the neighborhood and work, so for this time frame there is absolutely no escape from it. And, any way you look at it, it takes time and effort to do the holiday thing.

Don’t misunderstand me; I enjoy seeing family and friends during this time. I enjoy the food and the fellowship. I even enjoy the lights and the decorations and even, begrudgingly, some of the music. I like the whole concept of gift giving (and it really is more fun to give than to get). Also, I don’t know the exact date Jesus Christ was born, so I’m not too sure about the December 25 thing as it relates to Him. I do though think it’s important to understand He was born, how He was born and why He was born, so thinking of those things related to Him around this time of year is something I will do and is something I will tell myself I need to do more often during the rest of the year. So, it’s all a bit more involved than sausage balls and cherry muffins and sparkling cider and peppermint candy canes and pine-scented candles and frilly ribbons and gift bags and all the other things that seem to dominate the season.

Still, I’m struggling right now to finish the season off. It’s not because I’m depressed. I’m not being Ebenezer Scrooge. I’m just part of the way though this year’s holiday tour and I am tired, just physically tired. I want so bad to take a long nap, one so long and with sleep so deep, I might wake myself up snoring or slobbering or both. I’d like just a bit of freedom from the hustle and bustle to veg out for a few hours and not have to worry about getting ready to go somewhere in a festive, seasonal sweater. It doesn’t help that work bears down pretty hard this month and January either. So, I must go forward, no matter how good sleep sounds.

Right now, I feel like I have eaten a big ol’ brownie topped with chocolate icing and mixed with pecans and chocolate chips. It was the kind of brownie that was so good you can gain weight just from smelling it. It was so sweet, so delicious, I ate another one that was just as big. I waited a few minutes and then ate another brownie and then another brownie and then a bit later, I ate yet another brownie. So, at this very moment, I feel if you offered me a big, ol’ brownie I might just scream uncontrollably and run off down the street never to be seen again.

Never to be seen again…until I wanted another brownie.

See you over the holidays!

Yesterdays Ago

Some yesterdays ago, I was a little boy growing up in a small Georgia town with my parents and an older brother and sister. The memories from then are mostly good ones. I was very fortunate to have had a lot of extended family as well. When I count them up I had 28 aunts and uncles and almost 40 cousins. Most of these folks lived within ten or twenty miles from us. I came to know most of them real well. So much of how I view things today were shaped by that time, that place, those people.

Earlier this week, one of those uncles passed away. He isn’t the first aunt, uncle or cousin to pass away, just the latest. Sad to say, I didn’t really know him as well I should have. I was though able to make the 70+ mile drive there for the funeral. There, I saw family and friends I hadn’t seen since the last family funeral.

I left there with a lot on my mind, a lot about family and the things that tie us together, a lot about why and how things turn out the way they do in life. For right now, it’s all just too overwhelming to try to put into words. Maybe with some time to sort through it all, I can write a bit more about the funeral, my family and these feelings that come out from my mind’s shadows when one of us dies. For now I know I feel very sad because one more of the people from all my yesterdays ago when I began to grasp what family was and how it all fit together has died.

Thankful

I am thankful.

That I am reasonably healthy. That I can work for a living and have a job that allows me to provide what I have. That I can complain when I feel like things aren’t going my way although I know complaining makes me look petty and small.

I am thankful.

That my wife loves me in spite of my own stupidity, arrogance and pride. That my wife is pretty and smart, prettier and smarter than I deserve. That my wife challenges me to love her as deeply and strongly as she loves me.

I am thankful.

That I have family who put up with me enough to think I’m an okay guy. That my family cares for one another more than words can even begin to describe. That I have family whose laughter is as warm and genuine as the hugs we share.

I am thankful.

That I have more than enough to eat. That I have clothes on my back. That I have shoes on my feet. That I have a roof over my head. That I have a couple of automobiles to get around in. That I have more "things" than I really know what to do with.

I am thankful.

That I have a spiritual family of people who are like me, broken, damaged, imperfect but redeemed by the life and blood of Jesus Christ. That this body of believers reaches out to each other and beyond it’s own doors to the community where it resides and out into the world. That these people are examples of dignity and love in a world that increasingly believes what we cling to is outdated, old-fashioned, not nuanced enough and just plain stupid.

I am thankful.

That I live in the greatest country in the world. That braver men and women than I have fought and do fight for the freedoms we have, even for the freedom some may have to disparage and malign those who do serve in the military. That even in our country's tough times, our nation is still blessed beyond what we should expect.

I am thankful.

That God loves me when I am unlovable. That God loves me in spite of my failings. That His love sent His Son to be in my place.

I am thankful.

For Cherry Coke. For iced coffee. For Sweet Tarts. For shrimp chimichangas. For reading glasses. For our cat, Daisy. For long Sunday afternoon naps. For quiet Saturday mornings as the sun rises on our street. For good memories. For mistakes where I learned something. For all the little things that make me smile, laugh, question and consider who I am, where I am and what I am doing.

I am thankful.

For the life I have lived, am living and plan on living.

Happy Thanksgiving.